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The Green Food Colouring Incident

I was just thinking today …………..
 
When anyone meets me for the first time, I must really look like I’ve got hosting birthday parties and making cakes nailed.

Having designed more than 200 cake kits for the website over the last 5 years it’s pretty hard to argue otherwise!!

But I promise that was not always the case!!

Let me tell you being found in the kitchen stripped down to my undies covered in green food colouring………

I loved planning my kid’s birthday parties. Since my younger girls birthdays are only two days apart, we often had a big joint party. I always liked their cakes to be a surprise.

So that often meant 2 cakes in one night and only starting after the girls went to bed!! Crazy I know right!

It usually ended up with a 4 am finish, floods of tears and way too many wines. Where was that super helpful DIY Cake Kit company when my kids were little? Hahaha!

Worse, I was also that mum who didn’t want to admit that I was stressed out at the party! Despite by bleary eyes from the 4 am finish, I would glide around smiling and chatting with all the guest. Pretending it was all so easy.

As a result I was considered the party queen. I was nickname “Martha” (pre-jail time Martha Stewart, just to clarify!).

Truth be known I loved the title and would go above and beyond at every party. The pressure I used to put on myself was insane. It’s really why Cake 2 The Rescue became a thing in the first place.

As a result, that perception still lives on all these years later, except for in the eyes of one unlucky friend Lisa.  The one who witnesses the infamous “Green Food Colouring Incident”.

 

Now before I start I want to set the scene. My friend Lisa is 5ft 11in, super slim, beautiful, and perfectly groomed. If I had to compare her to anyone else I’d say Princess Kate Middleton! I know, don’t you hate her already? Trouble is, she’s so lovely too!

I on the other hand I am 5ft 3in, exceptionally vain and a little on the cuddly side.  As a result, I’ve always been very careful about dressing to suit my body shape.  On school runs, I was always immaculately dressed. With perfectly applied makeup and freshly blow dried hair. OMG no wonder they called me Martha!!

The incident happened around half an hour before the guests were due to arrive. Lisa had arrived early to lend a hand as usual.

Being a perfectionist and a control freak I already had everything organised. The house looked amazing. Spotlessly clean and excessively decorated to match the Hawaiian theme. A feast of beach inspired party food laid out on the kitchen bench.

As she walked through the front door, the illusion of “Martha” was complete. The chaos of the last 5 days had been swept under the carpet along with my bad temper and frazzled husband!  I’d even showered, finished hair and make-up and put on my favourite Hawaiian maxi-dress.

“I’m in the kitchen, just come through” I shouted, welcoming her in.

“The house looks amazing, you’ve done it again Lou!” she beamed

“I’m just finishing up” I smiled, I encouraged her to take a seat at the kitchen bench.

 

As I carried on wiping down the bench we chatted excitedly about the day. I soaked in the praise as she gushed over the beautiful party food and how amazing the house looked. It was at that moment my eye caught sight of a bottle of green food colouring on the bench.

Basking in her praise and without thinking, I grabbed the food colouring by the lid to pop it in the cupboard. The lid wasn’t secured properly. The green colouring fell, tipped over and poured all over the bench. It ran down my white painted shaker doors and started seeping into the grout on the tiled floor. It looked like some kind of alien massacre!

In what felt like some kind of tv slow motion action shot, I swivelled round to look at the oven clock. 5 minutes and everyone would be arriving. Without a second thought I pulled my maxi-dress over my head and threw it into the sink. Grabbing every cloth and tea towel in site I fell to the floor.  Frantically I began soaking up the green liquid before it stained the grout forever.

“Lisa, grab me some old towels from the laundry, quickly” I shrilled in panic. But the towels didn’t come. I snapped back from the abyss and looked up from the floor wondering why she wasn’t helping. Lisa was doubled over bench laughing hysterically, tears rolling down her face!

“This isn’t funny you know” I shouted in frustration.

“Really, take a look at yourself” she pointed.

To my horror I looked down and saw myself for the first time.  Bent over the floor up to my elbows in green food colouring, half naked sporting nude coloured thong. My cellulite bum was wiggling madly from side to side as I scrubbed the floor! I was “Martha” no more!

Avoid disasters! Order a  CAKE 2 THE RESCUE DIY Cake kit!!

Yes, even Baker Girl Lou has party disasters!!  So come one everyone, make me feel better and tell me about your party mishaps in the comments xx

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